Context

Have you ever been a part of a conversation where you felt like you didn’t belong? As I continue recording more podcast episodes, my conversational confidence has grown, but I remember times when I was interviewing guests and felt like I had nothing to contribute to the discussion—which couldn’t be further from the truth!

Conversational confidence isn’t about having all the right words; it’s about believing in yourself as you speak and engage with others.

Here are five rules to increase your conversational confidence:

Rule #1: Focus on connecting, not impressing

People want to be seen, loved, and heard. A conversation focused on connection will make the other person feel valued, and when people feel valued, they feel loved. People remember how you make them feel!

The enemy of a good conversation is making it all about yourself. Have you ever gone to get coffee with someone, only for them to talk about themselves the entire time? The absolute worst.

Here are three practical tips on how to connect better:

1. Active listening (nodding, smiling, paraphrasing, etc.)

2. Don’t over share (creates a balanced conversation)

3. Put your phone away and be present

Rule #2: Don’t act like someone you’re not

It’s 2025… people are drawn to authenticity. It’s rare and refreshing. When you act like someone you’re not, people will notice. When you’re trying to be someone you’re not it tells the other person that you either don’t have confidence in yourself or are trying to hide something. Authenticity builds trust and creates powerful conversations.

Ask the “stupid” questions. Bring a fresh perspective. And act your age—no one wants to give advice to a young person filled with pride.

Rule #3: Recognize you have something to contribute

You are UNIQUE, and no one else in the world has walked your journey. Remind yourself of that before stepping into a conversation.

Contributing doesn’t always mean giving advice or tips—it could mean offering words of affirmation, asking thoughtful questions, or sharing your experiences.

Oftentimes, when I look back at my most productive conversations with industry experts, I realize that my curiosity is what propels me the furthest in those discussions.

Rule #4: Ask open ended questions

Open-ended questions encourage deeper conversations and build stronger connections. When you ask simple “yes” or “no” questions, it doesn’t leave space for people to shed their surface-level skin. By asking open-ended questions, you encourage critical thinking and gain fresh perspectives.

Here are three example questions:

1. How do you define success in your life?

2. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

3. What’s something people often misunderstand about you?

Rule #5: Understand not everyone is as confident as they seem

Everyone has insecurities, but some of us are better at hiding them than others. There is no such thing as having it all “figured out”—we are all trying to navigate life the best we can.

But the most important thing is knowing your identity. For me, I know my identity is in Christ. I am loved, and God is well pleased with me regardless of what I do or say. That truth gives me confidence and peace, no matter the circumstances.

Finding Faith and Peace After a Life in the Streets

In episode 15 of Divine Potential I sit down with Jacob Yates, a remarkable individual with a profound story of transformation. Growing up in Columbus, Jacob faced numerous challenges, including the incarceration of his father and a troubled home life. At the age of 10 Jacob went on his first drug run and by the age of 12 he was entrenched in the streets. Despite having the odds stacked against him, his journey took a significant turn after a series of personal trials and a pivotal spiritual awakening. Now, Jacob is not only an incredible father and an entrepreneur, but also a testament to the redemptive power of faith and determination. Now streaming on Spotify, Apple, and Youtube. 

Until next week,

Daniel

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